Daily spiritual practice is a core strength of Feri. It is my daily connection with my own divinity and the Star Goddess that enables me to function as effectively as I can each day. My current practice (which evolves regularly) had been stripped bare. I light my candles, offer incense and water to my Gods, do an integrated kala and Ha prayer, then sit for 20 minutes. The last part I term "sitting in wholeness" because I attempt to be aware of all my parts as they are in the moment.
My daily practice is simple, but not easy.
The truth is, our expectations of what a daily practice should entail colour our experiences and sometimes keep us from plumbing the true depths of our souls. I have a persisting image of what a "real" spiritual person (not me!) would experience, and I try to emulate this, which is not correct.
Sure, sometimes I do experience moments of utter bliss and connection, but more often than not it is a subtle joy, a knowing that I am doing what I can each day. This morning, for example, my practice was HARD. I struggled to fill my kala cup with energy, and the visualisations I've used for years just wouldn't come. My "sitting in wholeness" was awful, with my mind racing towards what I'm doing tomorrow as well as possible occurrences.
Then I realised - in my practice I strive to bring all of my parts into wholeness. I am currently recovering from a stomach bug, I barely slept last night, and I had a guest for three days, during which time I couldn't do any practice whatsoever. No wonder I was out of balance today.
When I finished my attempt at spiritual practice, at first I was wistful and nostalgic. Last week I could get into the flow of my practice with no difficulties, and sitting for twenty minutes did not seem like enough time. But I then came to an understanding - I tried my best today. It would have been easy to stay in bed and catch up on sleep. It would have been easy to go and have some food rather than meditate. The important thing was that I showed up to my altar no matter what. I honoured my Self and my Gods by simply being there.
Even if yesterday's practice was full of joy or full of despair, yesterday's practice is not today's.
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